28 September 2010

the miss kim lilac makes an appearance at a funeral.

although the lilac is well beyond its blooming period, i had a call that made it well worth noting on these interwebs because of the sentimental intentions stringed with wanting to purchase a sampling of the shrub.

a woman phoned, leaving a message asking for a dark purple lilac to take to a funeral. her goal was to buy the favorite flowering shrub of the woman who died and to give it to her family at the funeral-- instead of cut flowers. although always gifted with care and the expression of compassion, to me, cut flowers seem like a vain and emptier representation for what could be possible through plants and their final scenes. with a view based in symbolism, cut flowers  reinforce the idea that a beautiful life happened and was abruptly ended.

i've always found the idea of having cut flowers given to you as indicative of a superficial relation that shows withering in the relationship, lacking a serious background, like the cut flowers which lack roots and can only be appreciated for their beauty, then to be spent and tossed, if not dried and hung up somewhere.

and to get a bit soapbox-like, so many instances in television and film depict a man buying cut flowers as a gift for the woman he fought with just before that, and the woman usually coos over them, accepting them gratefully. but in most instances, the actual problem the fighting was over is not fixed or resolved, so to feel like flowers solve anything, especially when they are such a typical purchase for apologies, again feels a bit soulless to me.

but my views are often far from what the masses are, so if you disagree, then you are in line with many before me who see the situation on the majority level and will keep supporting the idea of buying cut flowers. in this free but down and out country, we all do our own thing anyway.

but to me, it always felt more meaningful to receive a plant that has roots, is in a pot, and can either stay in a pot and thrive, or be put into the ground. that is the significance-- to grow and continue pushing onward--not dying post-bloom, lacking a foundation or what keeps a plant alive.

what is more honorable than to keep someone's spirit alive than by gifting an actual plant that can continue to exist in that person's memory ? transference ! plus, it's a positive for the earth. it's space being taken up the good way.

and in my rant-made ways, this all then stems back to a woman asking for a dark purple-blooming lilac. unfortunately, all of ours are in the ground, rooted, and would probably go into shock if we dug them out at this point. plus, i doubt ours were in the color scheme this person wanted. so i suggested she check elsewhere, but she said she already had and that most nurseries were out of a lilac supply.

so i called our main grower, and luckily, he had some miss kim lilac available.  miss kim is a dwarf korean lilac, staying much smaller than the common lilac.


i asked the woman to look at the miss kim lilac online to make sure she definitely wanted it because it's not quite a dark purple but more of a light lavender, with some dark spots early in the blossoming process.

she called back to say she wanted the shrub and prepaid for it. terry picked it up, and all was well.

i really just love the idea of someone going out of her way to think as thoughtfully as possible with something so emotionally complex and trying on those close to the person who recently died. plants have so much to say, to speak, and i think they do any even better job at it when they have the opportunity to continue growing well beyond the lifespan of the person who is being bereaved.

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